A desire to feel safe, secure, important is at the core of the desire to be right and an attachment to our ideas. This TED talk on security is one of my favorite lectures of all time. Ensler explains how our attempts to feel secure often cause us to limit our minds and our lives without actually making us more secure. I believe her ideas are relevant to all forms of security from national security to the emotional security we seek in our relationships.
Excerpts from What security means to me by Eve Ensler:
“I think that when [security] is the focus of your life, these are the things that happen. You can’t travel very far or venture too far outside a certain circle. You can’t allow too many conflicting ideas into your mind at one time, as they might confuse you or challenge you.”
“You become whatever it is that will freeze you, numb you and protect you from doubt or change. But all this does, actually, is shut down your mind. In reality, it does not really make you safer.”
“Freedom means I may not be identified as any one group, but that I can visit and find myself in every group. It does not mean that I don’t have values or beliefs, but it does mean I am not hardened around them. I do not use them as weapons. In the shared future, it will be just that, shared. The end goal will [be] becoming vulnerable, realizing the place of our connection to one another, rather than becoming secure, in control and alone.”