Sing a love song to yourself (and my Katy Perry confessional)


As I discussed in the post on mantras and affirmations, sometimes it’s difficult to find the right words to comfort ourselves. The power of a familiar song is hard to argue and my next shameless self-love strategy takes advantage of this.




I use Katy Perry’s Unconditional to declare unconditional love for myself. “I will love [ME] unconditionally…” and so on. I love this and I plan to hum this song to myself a lot over the next couple of weeks whenever I feel the urge to start attacking myself for making a mistake. This song choice actually adds an interesting layer because I often feel ashamed of loving Katy Perry songs like Roar or Part of Me. When I sing Unconditional, I’m transcending my fear of self-compassion and letting go of what other people think of me. So if the song that you choose has some “uncool” and “cheesy” connotation for you then it may actually be the perfect choice.

Now Unconditional might not resonate with you but the point is finding a love song for yourself. That is all about shamelessly being yourself, in all your shameless positivity and determination to radically accept who you are. I believe that half the battle is opening your mind to this idea and ignoring the self-sabotaging voices that tell you this is ridiculous. So give it a try before you dismiss it and come back to the site and let us know what song you chose or even dare to declare your love of Katy Perry’s.

Tips for finding and using your love song:

1. Pick a song with a tune or lyrics that make you feel loving and comforting toward yourself.

2. Engage with this song to cue a self-compassionate state of mind when self-punishing habits begin to threaten you. There are many different ways to engage so figure out what works best. You might dance to it, hum your favorite line or write down the chorus on a piece of paper. Experiment!

3. Take time to develop positive associations with this song. Perhaps make a list of all the things you love about yourself while listening to the song.

4. Be gentle and compassionate with any resistance you might feel while doing this work. Negative thoughts don’t have to undermine your good intentions if you respond lovingly. For example, you might say to yourself, “I keep telling myself this stupid because I am scared and I am used to judging myself. I am going to let these thoughts come and go as I hum my song.”

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